Oh you would be so proud of me.
I was lying there in bed this morning listening to the milk float trundle up and down the lane, when it suddenly struck me that it was time to get my life, house and hairy legs kinda shipshape! It's all very well swallowing the old Que Sera Que Sera theory, but trust me it won't pay the bills or stop you turning into a rather hirstute mammoth if you give up the ghost and let that old devil fate take it's course.
No, no, no as Amy WineHouse would say. Action and a firm hand are what is required when you are on the verge of loopiness.
Before I knew it I was in the kitchen, hair soaked in conditioner dripping down my back and Fairy scented laundry banging around the machine. But ladies, there is a time and a place for all that is pretty, and quite frankly, a gloomy Monday morning, when even the local newsagent has seen fit to send a gentle reminder to pay your paper bill, isn't one of them...
So if I tell you a secret or six, will you promise not to shout at me?
You see there is a very pretty blue floral quilted table runner dancing down the centre of my dining room table, and when I can't think what to do with a piece of mail, whether it be an invitation for something I don't want to do, an appointment I don't want to keep, or a bill I've got no interest in paying, Housekeepers, I shove it under my frilly finery and pretend I simply never had the misfortune to open it. Genius, mais non? Non. Absolutely non!
Talk about sweeping your troubles under the carpet...
So anyway there I was contemplating devouring a probiotic madagascan vanilla yoghurt for breakfast, kind of swaying to the hum of the tumble dryer, when I finally realised what was wrong with me. It isn't that I have got a big nose and wonky teeth. It isn't that the green wallpaper makes me feel like crying or even that the Father of my baby saw fit to run off to Wigan with a crazy hill-billy. Lordy it's none of those things: I'm feeling kind of bugged because I am a procrastinator of the highest order. I ignore things. Let them crawl under my skin and make me quietly cross.
I don't make decisions, tell people what I think, paint out Finley's "artwork" on the wall behind the table, work out how to use the DVD, find a way to make the recycling bins that little bit more accessible, buy new batteries for the remote, call people back, actually call people at all, return essential tax documents or remember to leave a note out for the crazy milkman reminding him that eighteen eggs is more than I can manage on a weekly basis. I don't watch programmes I record, buy a new knob for the bathroom door so I don't have to keep leaning out the window to get one of the nighbours to come in and rescue me when I get locked in, nor even move the growing pile of books next to my bed, just in case I feel the need for a change of reading matter in the middle of the night. People I don't do anything! The front garden is drowning in weeds. The back garden a shrine to a beautiful, but long gone Summer.I don't pay bills until somebody drags me by the hair and makes me, oh and my hair itself? Dappled with grey and frizzier than it's ever been!!
But not today. Today inspired by goodness knows what I was a whole new Alison. And because I know her well and knew this personality transplant wouldn't last, Housekeepers I worked her into the ground! I spent five minutes writing one of my infamous Mission lists, and then scurried around like a demon, making dull phonecalls and attempting to make sense of the nutty British Tax System. I paid bits of money to bill's I never knew existed, organised Marks time with Finn, returned No Thank you's, got around to facing the mountain of horror that is Finley's wardrobe, printed out shopping lists, set up online banking for my new account, started to list my junk on Ebay and finally collapsed in a heap on a sofa covered in white chocolately handprints. Proud and tired and hungry for the first time in months.
Tomorrow I intend to get my wellies on and sort out the front garden, but for now it is time to tackle all manner of blackhead's, wrinkles, frizz and unwanted hair in the cosy haven that is a milky bath.
Please may I have a round of applause? I'll be sane before we know it...
As Nancy stated in her post, could you share your ebay info so we can drool over your beautiful things?
Posted by: jmkfpk | 03/11/2006 at 07:23 AM
Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not the only one with heaps of bills to pay and weeds to pull. It's a rainy day and I'm going to get every paper off of my desk. I'm trying to type this with my elbows resting on a four-inch-deep pile of mail, clipped recipes, store coupons, etc. They all need action and you have inspired me!
Posted by: Karen | 02/11/2006 at 12:17 PM
Do try to find out what it was that stimulated that rush of energy.You could bottle it up in old glass milk bottles and sell it to us.I'm sure there be plenty of willing buyers out there and you could make quite a killing as well! Hehehehe
Glad to see you finally have revived.
Annabelle =^..^= xo
Posted by: Annabelle | 02/11/2006 at 03:32 AM
Can you send me some of your violet cremes, or whatever else it is you've taken? I need that kind of motivation!!
Posted by: Danielle | 01/11/2006 at 10:05 PM
GO GET 'EM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: happyapple | 01/11/2006 at 08:56 PM
Good for you! Now if I could find the same inspiration....
Tell us your ebay site so we can fight over your yummy junk!!
Please?
Happy Halloween!
Posted by: Nancy | 31/10/2006 at 09:54 PM
Whazzat? Can you say foggy blue funk? I loved your day... Isn't it simply frightful to "wake up" and realize what is swimming in your tank? Love you!
Posted by: Savannah | 31/10/2006 at 09:32 PM
Hooray for you! Now pass some of that energy around, girl. Hello from Texas!
Posted by: Marie | 31/10/2006 at 06:34 PM
Good for you Alison!
I am just as proud of myself in the same way. I was busy like this yesterday and finsihed almost 1/3 of my must do list in just a few hours.
Of course having projects that I wanted to get back to finishing helped.
Posted by: Stephanie Ganger | 31/10/2006 at 05:21 PM
You sound positively inspired!! I wish whatever inspired you would come over to visit me!!
Posted by: Heather | 31/10/2006 at 05:06 PM
Bravo, Bravo! I so know how you are...because that's how I am too for the most part.
I'm proud of you! Thanks for reminding us that sometimes we just need to give ourselves a swift kick in the hind end with our gorgeous red heels and get it in gear!
Tonight I tackle my filing system that has swallowed last year's taxes that hubby needed today and now can't locate.
Posted by: Karla | 31/10/2006 at 03:58 PM
Applauding here in the state of Michigan.
I'd stand, but I'm lazy. I would have to dislodge a warm kitty and put down my laptop.
I needed this inspiration today (can you tell?).
Posted by: judy | 31/10/2006 at 01:34 PM
Well done you! So very glad you've got your positive spirit back again. Your little break last week must have really worked. As ever, thank you so much for the inspiration.
Posted by: Nonnie | 31/10/2006 at 11:41 AM
Dearest Alison!!
Good for you girl!! Never forget, you're only human with alot, I say: alot of kindred spirits here!! But, yes I say but: take care that you don't burn up too fast...everything in good time and thought over aswell! That's what I've learned over the years and it still works!
Reminding you and your darlingboy in my prayers! Love & hugs!
Posted by: Cindy | 31/10/2006 at 11:12 AM
Clap, Clap, Clap....
Posted by: Tanya | 31/10/2006 at 10:38 AM
Clap, Clap, Clap....
Posted by: Tanya | 31/10/2006 at 10:38 AM
Well done lady! I need a rocket up my posterior to get things done (apart from bills, although lately they've been big enough to be called Williams, I'm alright with them) its the ironing, tidying up etc... however Bill Oddie and Kate Humble on Autumn watch told me not to clear too much out of my garden so all the little creatures could have somewhere to hibernate.... so..... I'm taking them at their word!!
Posted by: Sarah | 31/10/2006 at 08:54 AM
A round of applause no, two or three. I understand you so well " because I am a procrastinator of the highest order" too. But I want to be what I know I can be, my true self, that is much more than being a procratinator.
Posted by: paula luckhurst | 31/10/2006 at 08:27 AM
Good for you! :-)
Posted by: Amy | 31/10/2006 at 06:08 AM
What a wonderful feeling to accomplish a task or two that has been put off for a little too long...I do this ALL the time! I spend so much more time dreading a task, thinking about how much I really, truly, absolutely don't want to do it, and when I finally just get it over with it's usually much less painful than I anticipated.
Good for you and thanks for the inspiration today! :)
Posted by: chicchickbiz | 31/10/2006 at 02:22 AM
Dear Alison-
I have been reading your blog for quite a while. It is a life-affirming thing to read the trials and tribulations of a normal woman who loves dangly hoops, silly red pumps and tousled hair. My good thoughts and wishes go out to you. You have created an interesting, very readable on-line community. That’s quite an accomplishment. From one domestic goddess to another…keep on moving forward, sister, life gets better every day…well almost!
Love-
Kate
Posted by: Kate | 31/10/2006 at 01:01 AM
Well done! You are inspiring me to get off my own rear & get to it :)
Posted by: Kim | 31/10/2006 at 12:47 AM
Way to go girl!! You should be very proud of yourself! You done good.
God bless!
Terri
P.S. My husband thinks you are a babe. He didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with you your face.
Frankly, I'm glad you and your enticing British accent are safely on the other side of the ocean!
Posted by: Terri Pollhein | 31/10/2006 at 12:08 AM
you, me, Hester, Gena - sisters under the skin! Reading your list of 'crimes' just made me cringe - I could easily have written an identical one...
Posted by: lovelycate | 30/10/2006 at 11:37 PM
Hurrah! Hurrah!
I'm so happy that you have found your swing again!
It was bound to happen eventually. Such a lovely person couldn't stay down forever. :)
Posted by: Shannon | 30/10/2006 at 10:20 PM